First, I want to say thank you to all of you for keeping my granny in your prayers. It’s greatly appreciated. She’s doing a little better, I got her a few games for her laptop so it keeps her busy.

For the past several months, I cannot seem to get any sleep at all. I can go to sleep easily but I cannot stay asleep. I worry too much and that’s probably my biggest problem, I worry about work situations, relationship problems, and all types of things. I take Tylenol PM or Excedrin PM but even with that I can’t stay sleep. Maybe I’ll go talk to my doctor and see what they can tell me. Probably nothing.

I’m so glad it’s the weekend, I can sit at home all day and do absolutely nothing. More than likely I’m going to go visit my friend and goddaughter, probably play Life and Monopoly and watch a few movies. Nothing spectacular.

The lamest thing happened to me the other day at the mall, some fool came up to me and said, “Hey I’ve seen you on Myspace, I’ve sent you several friend request and you keep denying me. What’s up with that?!” I’m like WHOA! This is lame and kinda scary b/c dude had that stalkerish vibe to him. I know myspace, facebook, and all those other sites are supposed to be for entertainment purposes (I’ve meant some really cool people) and to keep in contact with old friends and whatnot but that was ridiculous. So I basically just told him politely that I only use myspace for family and close friends and I apologized (even though I didn’t mean it). If I have another encounter like that I might consider deleting them. Have any of you experienced anything like that before?

Last weekend was very busy for me. My friend had her baby, Madeline Elizabeth, on July 1st. I’m very excited because she picked me to be her Godmother. I posted a pic of her on Flickr. Well she had a C-section so this weekend I spent my time over there helping her and helping with the baby and I got to thinking: would anyone be that kind to me? I mean it’s the 4th of July weekend, my family was in town and my other friends were asking me to go out and have fun but I knew in my heart my friend needed someone there with her. I’m not sure if anybody would have done that for me. I think that’s just the way God made me, to be very caring and to put others before myself.

I also received some troublesome news yesterday, my grandmother’s heart is enlarged. She got depressed and she’s very scared. So I’m being strong for her but I’m scared myself. My grandmother is like my mother, she raised me since I was 6 months old. I’m not sure what I would if I lost my grandmother, she’s my rock.

Well, I’m at work so let me get back to doing just that. TA TA

Despite feeling the way I felt for the past week or so, I had a fantabulous time this past weekend. I went to the casino with my supervisor =\ lol. We got there at 10:30 pm and didn’t leave until 5:00 am. We played BlackJack all night! I only spent $20 and came home with $50 so I didn’t lose any money at all. I always make sure I come home with something. So, I came home at 5 am went to bed at 6 am and woke up at 7:36 am because I had to work Saturday morning UGH! I got off at 1:00 pm and went STRAIGHT to bed. Then later on that day my cousin from Baton Rouge wanted to go to the club, they were having a VIP Party and she wanted to “find her a thug” =\. So, I got all dressed up and went. I had a good time actually, even though, I dislike being around a whole lot of people. I didn’t get home Saturday until 4:00 am, SMH. Sunday was my chill day, I did absolutely NOTHING at all.

This week should be rather short for me, I’m off Thursday through Saturday :). I might be going to another party this weekend for the 4th, but not sure as of yet.

Sometimes, I wish I wasn’t so distant and anti-social and I had a few more female friends to hang out with. Most of my friends are males b/c they tend to have a lot less drama going on. Females tend to get on my nerves after a while and I cut them off. I’m going to start going out more and meeting new people (positive people, that is).

Well, you all have a great holiday and be safe.

Finally it’s Friday!!! Thank God! It has been an incredibly long week for me and it seems I’m going to have an even longer weekend. I have to drive my folks to Lake Charles for a funeral, which I’m not too happy about. But today I’m going to the casino to spend a lil money, about $40 then, I call it a wrap. After I come back from the funeral I plan on going to the movies to see Wanted with a good friend of mine.

I’ve still been feeling down since my last post. I don’t know why I let things bother me so much. In my high school days, I was able to let people go and go on about my business. But as of lately I’ve been real emotional and my feelings get hurt easily. I don’t cry or anything, it’s very hard for me to cry. But, I get real down and out and I don’t feel like doing anything at all. This all started after I was raped I believe. So, now I’m getting real personal.

I was 20 years old and a virgin. Something very precious was taken from me, that’ll I’ll NEVER get back. Maybe I should go to counseling or something to deal with this matter but I’m afraid they’ll try to medicate me or w/e. -Sighs- When I was 17 years old, I had my life planned out so beautifully but a few incidents changed all that and I feel so lost in this world. I’m going to keep faith in God, maybe He has something good for me :).

Hey Everybody. I have been neglecting this site terribly. I’ve been going through a lot as of lately, working and things that’s been going on in my life. I’ve been feeling down and just trying to get past this little phase in my life.

I’ve noticed that in any of my relationships, I tend to care more about that person than they care for me. I make myself available for people whenever they need me, I’m always there, but when I need someone there’s no one to be found. People totally do not understand me at all, I am a very loving and caring person and I’ve been through a lot: I’ve been raped, beaten, cheated on, treated like shit, just to name a few. I’ve tried not to let my past situations get the best of me and turn me into a hateful and/or mean person. But when the same shit keeps happening to me over and over, I’ve come to the conclusion that maybe it’s me. Maybe I expect too much of the human race and I expect everyone to be as kind hearted as I am. Sometimes I go through phases where I’m a complete ass to people and then I turn around and apologize because I know it’s not my character. I’m very misunderstood, that’s the main reason why I fly solo.

Well, it’s over! Yep, me and the guy who I liked very much, our relationship has ended. He was talking to me and another girl who stayed an hour away from him. At first I was sad, heart broken, pissed off, irate, and among other things, but then I realized I was better off without him. I have a brighter future and I don’t need/want him in it. We had been talking since February and he met my parents and I met his, which is a big deal for me, b/c NOBODY meets my grandparents unless I think they’re worthy. Ugh, men disgust me. Now, he’s been calling my phone wanting to apologize, NOW I’m really digging Rihanna song’s “Take a bow” cuz mannnn let me tell you, he’s only sorry he got caught. Bastard.

I said I had a bad feeling and that was it.

It’s been a minute since I’ve blogged on here. First, I’d like to say thank you for all those who do visit my site. All credit goes to Shannon for the web layout and design (Thanks Ma’am) :).

It seems as of lately I don’t have time to do anything. Today, I was lucky enough to get the day off so I’m able to catch up on a few things that I let slip by. During the week, I’m working non-stop and running errands and on the weekends, I’m either out of town to see my “friend” or he travels here to see me. Either way it goes, I’m with him and because time is limited between us I still don’t get the time to rest or do anything else. This whole long distance thing is very new to me and it takes A LOT of trust to be with someone who lives in a different city. We both have trust issues and we’re trying our best to make it work but there’s still some doubt in me that something bad is about to happen between us. In the past when I got that feeling something usually does go wrong. *Sighs*

Well, I’m getting off here to go clean and whatnot. You all stay blessed and have a wonderful week/weekend.

Hey everybody. I had a wonderful time this weekend even though I had to work Saturday morning. I went to Lake Charles to visit my friend, we’ve been talking since Jan/Feb as I stated earlier. He took me all around Lake Charles even though it’s no better than Alexandria lol but I had fun to say the least. I just don’t like doing that drive, its 1 hour and 45 mins of just road and trees lol, very boring. Thank goodness I had my music to keep me entertained and my cell phone. But, I’m sooo happy I finally found someone I can connect with. Right now I’m happy, I know it’ll come a time when I’ll probably hate his guts and wish he got ran over by a train, but who doesn’t right?! You can see pictures of me and him on my Flickr. I spent a whole day with him and came home later on that night and went straight to bed after I went to Wal-mart to get me some headphones for my IPOD. This is my 3rd pair to buy, all the others one, the right side quit working, maybe I’m buying a cheap brand =\ lol who knows.

Well, today is Memorial Day and I’m ready to eat. I’m not too thrilled to have all the company that’s supposed to come by. I dislike a lot of noise and ignorant people. I mainly stay in my room or go over someone’s house until the company at my house leaves. But anyway, hope you all had a great weekend and a nice Memorial Day.

Why do people feel the need to be something they’re not. People tend to care too much of what others think, when in reality those same people could give two shits about you. Spending your whole paycheck trying to keep up with the next person, buying designer clothes and sunglasses (that break within a week, might I add) and all types of materialistic things that shouldn’t matter. If you can afford it fine, but if you buying the new Jordans that cost $200 and then turn around and ask me for gas money?! My reaction will be: UM, WHAT IN THE HELL IS YOU SMOKIN’ ON?! Get your priorities straight! Buying $1000 rims, earrings, Gucci shorts, and shit pulling right in front of an one bedroom apartment complex. That shit boggles my mind. Then they get mad at you because YOU won’t spend your hard earned dollars on them to “help” them out. No, you dont need my money to “help” you out, you need Jesus.

I could care less what others think of me. I don’t feel the need to try to “keep up” with anybody else. I have a great job, nice car in good shape (Point A to Point B, sometimes C), and I’m paying for school myself. I’d never spend my whole paycheck on some bullshit so others can say, “Damn Terri got on the new Baby Phat outfit. But, shit she just asked me for $5 to get something to eat.” NEVER THAT HOMEBOY! Another thing, that irritates me with our generation is that too many of us are worried about the wrong thing. Meaning, worry about yourself and your problems, don’t worry about what’s going on over here. B/C 9 times out of 10 you have all your information wrong and that’s how shit gets started. I’ve become more private over the years, I hardly trust anybody with my information. Ha, I’ve been dating a guy since February and nobody knew until a few days ago. A lot of people usually have bad intentions so it takes a minute before I can warm up to anyone. Some people understand and some don’t. Oh well.

I’m off work for the day. Heading home to relax and catch up on a few things I’d let slip because I was being lazy. Hope you all have a blessed day.

Ugh. I’m at work and the only name my supervisors know is Terri. Don’t get me wrong it feels good to know that you’re needed and appreciated but on the other hand, you can become very exhausted from all the work you have to do. It pisses me off even further when my other co-workers just sit back and want me to do all their work and mine too. I wonder if they’ll give me half their checks as well? Ha, we know the answer to that question. I can’t stand lazy individuals who expect to get paid for just showing up. I like to work because I do my job damn well, but I do not like to be taken for granted. One of these days I’m going to take a week off and see how they’ll do without me.

On another note, people take my kindness for weakness and think I don’t know when someone is trying to use me. I catch on pretty darn quick, I might not say anything at first but trust me when I do speak on it, you’re going to wish you hadn’t pushed those buttons. I’m very kind and giving to people but when I need someone those people are never there. People are always too into themselves. I was blessed to find a friend like Qui, she stays in another state but whenever I need her she’s there for me. People like her you try to keep in your life b/c they’re hard to find.